Saturday, November 15, 2014
Friday, November 7, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Blogs. They're starting to become this big fad. All these typical really-pretty-i-do-my-hair-and-makeup-everyday-and-my-life-is-so-fun women have them.
I'm starting to hate that. I use my blog almost as an open journal. I write my thoughts and feelings as a relaxing tactic. It is therapeutic for me to get my thoughts out of my head so I can breathe and relax. So I am not going to advertise my blog. I'm not going to ask people to go and check out "this weeks newest post: the weekend was so fun!" I'll leave my URL available for those who happen upon it and arw interested but I'm not turning my blog into a fad. I'm not going to start spilling my day to day life. I am not posting loads of pictures from the weekend. I'll probably post pictures here and there. But my blog is going to stay real. I'm not going to post fluff.
That's actually why I post less now. I don't have as much to blog about and I want my posts to mean something.
My blog is a personal safety net. Where I go when I need someone to talk to. And it's going to stay that way.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
It's been a while
I've been going through some stuff
Tanner and my other friends
Pretty much life has just been suffocating me.
But, I'm back! To help easy my ever growing stress,
I think I'm going to start writing it out again.
Writing is therapeutic, the more I type out my frustration, to get them out of my head
The better I feel.
I want to feel better
Stress has over taken my life
I'm ready to be stress free.
I'm ready to come back
So fasten your seat belt everybody, because I'm back.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
I don't want to be so busy with my own problems and life that I wouldn't have time to help someone out with their own problems. I'm always willing to be a "listening ear".
Sunday, July 27, 2014
I got to the race a little early and my insides were going nuts. I could not keep still to save my life. I tried listening to music to relax myself a little bit but nothing seemed to really work. Finally the race began. The first mile was the hardest. I flew through mile 2 and 3. As I was running toward the Finish line/timer (and the fireman who soaked me with the fire hose-not fun) all I could think about was how I had just done what I never thought was even slightly possible. I finished at 46:30. My original goal time was 45:00. I'm not even slightly disappointed with my time, It just gives me a new goal- Run a 5k in under 46:30. I am so excited to start running more 5k's and hopefully work up to some longer, more challenging races!
Sunday, June 29, 2014
I've kind of opened up to a few people and show who I really am.
I'm crazy, silly, funny, bossy, bratty, and a whole ton of sass.
A few people saw me being this way, and asked why I don't perform.
They said, "The stage was calling me"
The thing is, I'm not good at pretending to be someone else.
I'm good at being me.
I'm good at being responsible and a leader.
I do do (ha!) well in front of people, but that's because I don't care what people think.
Well that's not completely true, because everyone cares what people think.
I just care less.
If I have to pretend to be someone else for people to like me, I'm hanging with the wrong people.
God made me who I am for a reason.
It was be a waste of his power to pretend to be someone I'm not.
So from now on I'm just going to be me.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
+ Wake up early. Waking up early gives you time to relax and ponder on your day ahead. It helps you become lest stressed and just makes you feel totally refreshed.
+Develop a routine. When you have things all in order you can feel more relaxed and ultimately happier! I feel a lot more secure when I have a plan and a reason behind it,
+Smile. When you smile even if you don't feel like smiling, your mood improves. It can give you a more positive outlook.
+Forgive others and yourself. Holding on to grudges and past injustice will do nothing but make you grumpier. Forgive yourself also. No one is perfect including you. Like Maya Angelou said, " Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
+Exercise daily. Get that blood flowing and the endorphin's up. I always feel better after I have ran my guts out and am sweating and stinky. Something about knowing your body is capable of doing hard things really works wonders for the mind.
+Laugh Everyday. Laugh until your sides are sore and your cheeks hurt. A good belly laugh can fix a bad mood in no time. Spend time with people you are always in fro a good laugh and that you can laugh with. People who can laugh are always the best kind of people.
+Be proactive. Finish things before they are due, and don't procrastinate. Anxiety and poor attitudes start to creep up into you when you procrastinate. When you are not constantly thinking of what you have left to do, you can sit back, relax, and breathe a sigh of relief,
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
P.s. lists are my favorite.
1. Obviously, In the future (after I marry a return missionary in the temple) I would like to be a Mom. That is my top most priority. Of course, In this day and age people do need an education in case the perfect "Man works woman stays home with the children" scenario doesn't quite play out. So I have three other options for a career.
2. I think it would be really cool to be a Dental Hygienist. I am interested in working in a medical related field but not the typical doctor/nurse/EMT. I feel like it would be a good career for myself and the pay is not to shabby (Jokes! It has nothing to do with the money. Even though that is a great perk).
3. I am a really organized, stick-to-a-schedule, make a to-do list everyday, kind of person. I'm really good at cleaning and turning a cluttered mess into a very neat and organized space. I would love to start my own organizing business. I already have came up with a name for it and a design. It would work really nice because I could schedule it around my time and I could do what I'm really good at.
4. I've always been a "doodler". I used to get in trouble in elementary school because I would draw little pictures and designs on all my homework assignments. I am in no way an artist. It just clears my head to doodle a little when I'm listening to someone speak or if I am stressed. I especially like to doodle designs/logos/business titles. That's why graphic designer is the caboose on this list. I think it would be so fun to have a job that let's you doodle and make fun things out of other peoples ideas.
I really have no idea what to do. With college approaching I kinda sorta need to pick a career. I've been telling everyone that I'm going to be a Dental Hygienist. It seems like the most likely fit for my personality and future life. But, because I have "decided" i am almost doubting my choice.
What do i want to be? When do i have to decide?
Maybe I just won't decide and see how my life plays out? ( Ha! jokes!)
Monday, May 12, 2014
- a parent who screams at their children.
- a parent who screams at their children in front of their children's friends.
- someone who is quick to anger
- a wife/ mother who is not easy to talk to
- angry all the time
- a procrastinator
- a jerk to other people
- someone who makes fun of children
- a "bringer down"
- someone who is not open minded
- someone who can not listen
- a micro manager
- constantly agitated
- someone who is never happy in their own home with their kids
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
High school is completely insane! Who in there right mind decided to put almost 1000 fifteen- eighteen year-olds into one school.(and that's just at OHS, other schools have way more) Hormones are seriously flying. No one gets any sleep... ever. Teachers are jerks and who even has time for homework?! ( The answer is no one.) Teachers are always saying " As teachers we know how you feel. you have SEVEN other classes that are feeding you homework so tonight's homework will only consist of: one essay on the chapter you read, a study-guide, a vocab sheet, and to read for your 1000 pages. I hope that you appreciate my effort on trying to lighten the (homework) load."
What The @$#% ! That is not even lighting anyone's load! What are these people even thinking?! Anyway now I'm off topic. I'd like to share my tips on how I am trying to survive the zoo they consider High School.
- DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. Just don't. Life is worse if you procrastinate,Late points are deducted you dread the assignment more... it's just bad.
- Get ORGANIZED. I find it a lot harder to think straight when my back pack is overflowing with junk and I can't even find what I'm looking for. Even though being and staying organized can be tedious, I feel that it helps me stay more calm
- BUILD RELATIONSHIPS. Also known as- Kissing Butt. I'm not as bad of a kiss butt, although, I do try to make a good relationship with my teachers so that when I do have a problem, they are more willing to work with me.
- BE RESPECTFUL. No one is more annoying than a very entitled kid. You are not funny or Bad-A. You're stupid and we all hate your guts. You just end up making the teacher mad and that's just stupid. It really isn't hard to sit quite for an hour. Zone out, or even better actually do the work!
- STUDY. As much as I hate to say it... studying works. Even if you just spend half an hour going over the material you will do so much better on the tests. Trust me. It is worth it
- DO EVERY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. Homework is usually the category that effects your grade the least, BUT if you do EVERY assignment it can give you a small buffer which can help raise your grade from that B- to an B or even A-.
- BE WELL ROUNDED. Don't forget that high school is about socializing and building relationships just as much as it is about learning. Take a break from studying/ homework to hangout with friends. Form study groups. Go to the activities. Go to the sports games and show your school spirit! High School only happens once so don't let it go to waste.
- SLEEP IN. It is okay to sluff every once in a while. Sleep in a little, skip first. Sluff the assemblies. It is invigorating and is major stress relief
- BUILD FRIENDSHIPS. Even though you may not see half of these people ever again after graduation. Make friends. The friends situation is always tough in high school. People change and have bad days. You need other friends that you can rotate to when things are rough with your other friends. Having a wide variety of friends makes life so much more fun anyway!
- ENJOY IT. As much as it may stink a lot of the time, high school is usually where people have their fondest memories. Don't spend your entire high school existence yearning for the future. The future comes entirely too quickly and then all you have left is regret.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
* sine-squared-of-theta-plus-cosine-squared-theta-equals-one......sine-tangent-theta.....math.... test... tomorrow?!! I'm really proud of myself. I've done every math assignment when it was assigned before the day before (haha tongue twister) the math test. I'm trying to memorize a butt-load of equations so I don't strand myself in sudden-math-stroke during the math test. Math tests always freak me out. They are 80% of our grade and I really need to make it through math this year... Only 1 term left!
*I learned a really great ab workout from my fitness coach today. It's not too hard and you can definitely feel it. I'm in desperate need of a partner to go to the gym with (Planet Fitness) since the workout requires someone to toss the medicine ball to you. Plus, I'm way to freaked out at the thought off having to ask some random citizen at the gym to help me. NO to that.
*I really wish I had one of those cool blogs with 80 bazillion followers. Like c'mon... I'm hilarious! I try to make my blog a mix of funny, spiritual insights, random thoughts, and intense posts. Maybe the only person who is interested in what i think/have to say... is me?
*I really don't understand why people can't give people (me) the time and space I need to adjust. Last year was emotionally damaging for me. I went through a lot and I am in no way, shape, or form ready to relive those memories. I'm trying to go on with my life and put what happened behind me. I do not need you reminding me of those times because it just gives me anxiety. I'm trying to forget and move on. I can give you a thousand reasons why. It is easier for me to just forget it than it is to try to pretend the last year. Things are different. Everything is different. Don't pretend like it's not.
*When it's raining I like to lay in my bed, pretend I have no responsibilities and sleep, and just waste the day away.
*I need more lazy days. I am too busy for it to be healthy.
* I can not spell to save my life. If I was kidnapped and the only way to be released without harm, were to spell, I would be dead.
* I have become sort of a rebel lately. Well not really. I'm too cautious to do anything that is actually "bad" but I've done some slightly out of character things lately. Get on my level
Okay. I'm done now. There is just something about typing your thoughts out that is therapeutic. Kinda like driving with the music off. It also helps me to relax and make rational decisions. Yay for blogs!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Actually, I am the epitome of irrational optimism. Since March began, I've been wearing shorts as much as I possibly can. I have the philosophy that if I pretend that it is summer it will become summer. Winter feels like it drags on forever and I am so excited for school to be out and for it to be summer.
Why wouldn't you get excited when it starts getting too warm for you too drive with the heater on? When it's warm enough that when you wear shorts you don't freeze to death?
Well apparently irrational optimism isn't always the best idea.... shorts and snow should never (ever) have to mix. I'm pretty sure I have frostbite on my legs.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
You know what I did during lunch today? Sat in my car and cried.
I'm so frustrated and I just can not put up with this anymore.
The one person in the whole entire world who definitely deserves the best birthday ever (who also happens to be your best friend) is not going to even get it this year because your are being the epitome of selfish.
You got your guy. Cool. Now act like a human being and help me plan your best friends birthday. She deserves it more than any one else I know.
And HE is not invited.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Most of the time I barely make it through each day. I have a lot of responsibility and I really do love it. Sometimes though, it feels like a burden. I usually feel like I should be perfect and be the best. I know that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes. Not being able to fulfill a job makes me feel like dirt. I feel as though I should be able to handle everything on my plate and more. I constantly strive for perfection. Junior year has been especially challenging for me. I'm struggling to balance my social life, sleep, the rigor of my classes, work and relaxing. It is quite the act and I'm not doing so well. I really do not need any added stress or pressures in my life. I'm 17 and I shouldn't have to carry this much responsibility around like a ton of bricks.
A few weeks ago I was assigned to put together a musical number for the upcoming New Beginnings for the young women of my ward. I was sick in bed all week and I spent the next week frantically catching up in my classes. Last Tuesday, I tried to recruit a few young women to be in my musical number but none of them showed a real interest and I, knowing how stressful life can be, am never one to push. Sunday then rolled around and I still had not put together this musical number. The leader in charge of all this called a lady in my ward and bagged on me. She told her that she was going to call me out in young women's as a punishment for not fulfilling the assignment. That is not a way any adult should treat any teenager. Especially not one who is a leader and should be the biggest example. I do know people make mistakes and get frustrated but that was not the right way to handle the situation. As a 30- something year old, you should know how to handle things better. You are no longer in high school and you should act like it. How immature can you be?
The stress to be perfect is so prominent in my life that when I am given criticism or yelled at I break down. I'm so hard on myself and I just can't handle it.
You do not need to lie to my face about what happened and you definitely do not need to lie to the young women's president about it either. That is a very immature thing to do. I, as a 17 year old, know how to handle myself and act more mature.
You have really crushed my spirits and made me feel terrible. I feel like I'm no longer good enough and that I will not be trusted to carry out assignments. That breaks my heart.
I believe that everyone can be forgiven and that through the power of my Savior, I will be able to forgive her and myself for the things that have gone on.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Sunday, January 26, 2014
If I hear one more thing like, " In the handbook..." I will explode. The handbook is a guideline. It is not a set of rules.
We need to come up with a way to make our activities and Sunday meetings enjoyable and renew the desire to be there.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Ever since I heard that I've said it in everyone of my prayers. It is an amazing insight that I think everyone should be aware of. I do hope that we all can make it home safely.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Sunday, January 5, 2014
I chose my article out of the Ensign. It is entitled: The Best Time to Plant a Tree by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (Second Counselor in the First Presidency). (http://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/01/the-best-time-to-plant-a-tree?lang=eng)
This little Article President Uchtdorf wrote really reminded me what new years resolutions are really all about. It's not about making a huge long list of things you never plan to accomplish. It is supposed to help you rid yourself of old habits and take a step further into becoming the best you, you can be! Resolutions in this day and age are mostly worldly. If we take the time to make meaningful worthy resolutions we are so much closer to becoming Christ-like and living with our father in heaven again, and that is ultimately what I want in my life.
I'm very grateful for all the people who have been such great examples to me throughout my journey here on earth. Lots of babysitters, and older girls in the ward are especially ones that I look up to. It's sad to see that a few have fallen away from the church. I understand that they are exercising their agency, but it is still a sad thought.
As I have reflected on my life and seen all the women who have been examples to me. It makes me want to be a better example. A lot of these women probably don't even know I look up to them. How do I know who is watching me? Who wants to be like me? I wouldn't want someone, later in life, regret looking up to me. As I go throughout this new year I want to strive to be a better example.
In 1 Timothy 4:12 it says: "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." This is a scripture I want to strive my best to follow.
And this my dear friends, concludes my Sunday night thoughts.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Just to start off, my dad thought it would be a wonderful idea to turn off the wifi at 10pm each night. Like what? Late at night is when I do my best blogging!! What in the world was he thinking?! But, I will not let not using my laptop be that big of a hiderence. So here it goes, from my phone.
Tonight at my second home (taco amigo) I had the best experience of the whole week. I was way ahead on my closing jobs so I was helping my coworker with hers. I was helping take money and hand food out the drive-up window. A man pulled up to the window and I greeted him as I normally do all customers. I asked how he was and told him his total. He told me he was ornery and handed me his credit card. I then proceeded to apologize for his bad day and charge him for his food. I handed his food and card back out the window and told him to have a great day. He replied, "You have a great night, too! Oh, and keep smiling!"
It is amazing how big of a difference a smile can make. Just turning up the corners of your mouth. It isn't a hard thing to do, yet we as people tend to do less and less of it these days. A smile has such power. When you choose to smile even when you don't feel like it, you could be changing someones day or even their outlook on life! So smile big whenever you get the chance! You never know how many chances you have left!
I'm grateful that that man took a chance and spoke more than the usual few words most people do. So in the words of that very friendly man "keep smiling!" You never know when someone will need it.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Jillian Michaels is a mad woman!
Since school started, I've been going to the gym 3-4 times per week (with a few exceptions). I lift weights, I do cardio, I do abs, arms, and legs. I've definitely seen a difference and I feel a lot better inside, and a lot better about myself. I feel like I'm pretty in shape, seeing that I run almost 2 (someimes more) miles each time I'm at the gym. Apparently, I'm not.
I woke up yesterday with absolutely zero motivation to head to the gym. So, I grabbed my Jillian Michael's 20 minuet work out video and put it in. 20 minuets, how hard could it be?
Oh my! I've never sweated so much in all my time working out! All the moves are really easy. Stuff any normal person would be able to do. The way she combined excersizes (for full calorie burning/ muscle toning benefit) was insane! In the first 5 minuets I wanted to die!
It was a great workout and I'm so sore now in my legs and abs that it hurts to walk ( and I may or may not hobble around like a grandma). But believe me, I will never underestimate the power of Jillian Michaels ever again!