Notice

Blogs. They're starting to become this big fad. All these typical really-pretty-i-do-my-hair-and-makeup-everyday-and-my-life-is-so-fun women have them.
I'm starting to hate that. I use my blog almost as an open journal. I write my thoughts and feelings as a relaxing tactic. It is therapeutic for me to get my thoughts out of my head so I can breathe and relax. So I am not going to advertise my blog. I'm not going to ask people to go and check out "this weeks newest post: the weekend was so fun!" I'll leave my URL available for those who happen upon it and arw interested but I'm not turning my blog into a fad. I'm not going to start spilling my day to day life. I am not posting loads of pictures from the weekend. I'll probably post pictures here and there. But my blog is going to stay real. I'm not going to post fluff.
That's actually why I post less now. I don't have as much to blog about and I want my posts to mean something.
My blog is a personal safety net. Where I go when I need someone to talk to. And it's going to stay that way.

It's been a hot minute

minute? minuet? I think I've been spelling minute wrong my whole life... so that's awesome!
Anyways. Hi.
It's been a while
I've been going through some stuff
Friend issues
School/homework/stress/teachers/stress
Work
Tanner and my other friends
Possible anxiety
Pretty much life has just been suffocating me.
But, I'm back! To help easy my ever growing stress,
I think I'm going to start writing it out again.
Which is probably better than screaming my head off when my stress level is through the roof.
Writing is therapeutic, the more I type out my frustration, to get them out of my head
The better I feel.
I want to feel better
Stress has over taken my life
I'm ready to be stress free.
I'm ready to come back
So fasten your seat belt everybody, because I'm back.

i hate titles. too much pressure.

Lately, I have been a confidant. People have been telling me loads of stuff about their personal lives. It really boosts my self esteem because I obviously must be a trust worthy person, right? It has been a little weird though... Usually, I am the talker and the teller and I've kind of changed rolls in a lot of my friendships. Not completely, I still talk a lot, but it has been nice to be on the other side. The listener. I like to be able to listen to people's stories and what they have going on in their lives and what they are struggling with. It's almost like an example to follow when I hit rough patches in my own life. I can remember how other people dealt with their problems and then more easily help myself. I like that I can be both a listener and a talker. I feel like it helps me to relate to people better and be a better friend.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” 
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” 

I don't want to be so busy with my own problems and life that I wouldn't have time to help someone out with their own problems. I'm always willing to be a "listening ear".

for your entertainment

"...My body told me to quit a couple of miles ago..."

I've never been any sort of  an athlete. I'm accident prone and have an extreme lack of motivation, but at the beginning of the summer I made a goal. My goal was to participate in an organized race. I sat down at the computer and looked for a race that looked do-able. I found  Cooper's Run and marked July 26th on my calendar. I had never ran 3 consecutive miles before so I was kinda nervous but I knew that I could start working on it and be fine. This was in early June and I really procrastinated my training. I ran a mile a couple of times during June, but not nearly enough to count as "training" for this race. Two weeks ago I really got serious. I had waited too long and I was getting so nervous that I started having dreams about falling during the race and dying or the race being cancelled all together. I really wanted to do well and be able to finish the race. I started running a mile about everyday to get my body used to running. On Friday night before the race I layed in my bed and all I could think of was that I had never run the full 3 miles before. I was so so nervous and I wanted to barf. It was that excited nervous, though. I knew that as soon as I was done I would be so happy with myself and my accomplishment, I knew that I would be able to do it. I was about to achieve my goal and by 10:00 the next morning it would all be over.
I got to the race a little early and my insides were going nuts. I could not keep still to save my life. I tried listening to music to relax myself a little bit but nothing seemed to really work. Finally the race began. The first mile was the hardest. I flew through mile 2 and 3. As I was running toward the Finish line/timer (and the fireman who soaked me with the fire hose-not fun) all I could think about was how I had just done what I never thought was even slightly possible. I finished at 46:30. My original goal time was 45:00. I'm not even slightly disappointed with my time, It just gives me a new goal- Run a 5k in under 46:30. I am so excited to start running more 5k's and hopefully work up to some longer, more challenging races!

^ Courtney and I at the finish line 

Running my little heart out^

Putting on a show

I am good at being me. It's really as simple as that.
I've kind of opened up to a few people and show who I really am.
I'm crazy, silly, funny, bossy, bratty, and a whole ton of sass.
A few people saw me being this way, and asked why I don't perform.
They said, "The stage was calling me"
The thing is, I'm not good at pretending to be someone else.
I'm good at being me.
I'm good at being responsible and a leader.
I do do (ha!) well in front of people, but that's because I don't care what people think.
Well that's not completely true, because everyone cares what people think.
I just care less.
If I have to pretend to be someone else for people to like me, I'm hanging with the wrong people.
God made me who I am for a reason.
It was be a waste of his power to pretend to be someone I'm not.
So from now on I'm just going to be me.

simple ways to spruce up your mood

(Another List- Judge me)

+ Wake up early. Waking up early gives you time to relax and ponder on your day ahead. It helps you become lest stressed and just makes you feel totally refreshed.

+Develop a routine. When you have things all in order you can feel more relaxed and ultimately happier! I feel a lot more secure when I have a plan and a reason behind it,

+Smile. When you smile even if you don't feel like smiling, your mood improves. It can give you a more positive outlook.

+Forgive others and yourself. Holding on to grudges and past injustice will do nothing but make you grumpier. Forgive yourself also. No one is perfect including you. Like Maya Angelou said, " Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

+Exercise daily. Get that blood flowing and the endorphin's up. I always feel better after I have ran my guts out and am sweating and stinky. Something about knowing your body is capable of doing hard things really works wonders for the mind.

+Laugh Everyday. Laugh until your sides are sore and your cheeks hurt. A good belly laugh can fix a bad mood in no time. Spend time with people you are always in fro a good laugh and that you can laugh with. People who can laugh are always the best kind of people.

+Be proactive. Finish things before they are due, and don't procrastinate. Anxiety and poor attitudes start to creep up into you when you procrastinate. When you are not constantly thinking of what you have left to do, you can sit back, relax, and breathe a sigh of relief,