"...My body told me to quit a couple of miles ago..."

I've never been any sort of  an athlete. I'm accident prone and have an extreme lack of motivation, but at the beginning of the summer I made a goal. My goal was to participate in an organized race. I sat down at the computer and looked for a race that looked do-able. I found  Cooper's Run and marked July 26th on my calendar. I had never ran 3 consecutive miles before so I was kinda nervous but I knew that I could start working on it and be fine. This was in early June and I really procrastinated my training. I ran a mile a couple of times during June, but not nearly enough to count as "training" for this race. Two weeks ago I really got serious. I had waited too long and I was getting so nervous that I started having dreams about falling during the race and dying or the race being cancelled all together. I really wanted to do well and be able to finish the race. I started running a mile about everyday to get my body used to running. On Friday night before the race I layed in my bed and all I could think of was that I had never run the full 3 miles before. I was so so nervous and I wanted to barf. It was that excited nervous, though. I knew that as soon as I was done I would be so happy with myself and my accomplishment, I knew that I would be able to do it. I was about to achieve my goal and by 10:00 the next morning it would all be over.
I got to the race a little early and my insides were going nuts. I could not keep still to save my life. I tried listening to music to relax myself a little bit but nothing seemed to really work. Finally the race began. The first mile was the hardest. I flew through mile 2 and 3. As I was running toward the Finish line/timer (and the fireman who soaked me with the fire hose-not fun) all I could think about was how I had just done what I never thought was even slightly possible. I finished at 46:30. My original goal time was 45:00. I'm not even slightly disappointed with my time, It just gives me a new goal- Run a 5k in under 46:30. I am so excited to start running more 5k's and hopefully work up to some longer, more challenging races!

^ Courtney and I at the finish line 

Running my little heart out^

Putting on a show

I am good at being me. It's really as simple as that.
I've kind of opened up to a few people and show who I really am.
I'm crazy, silly, funny, bossy, bratty, and a whole ton of sass.
A few people saw me being this way, and asked why I don't perform.
They said, "The stage was calling me"
The thing is, I'm not good at pretending to be someone else.
I'm good at being me.
I'm good at being responsible and a leader.
I do do (ha!) well in front of people, but that's because I don't care what people think.
Well that's not completely true, because everyone cares what people think.
I just care less.
If I have to pretend to be someone else for people to like me, I'm hanging with the wrong people.
God made me who I am for a reason.
It was be a waste of his power to pretend to be someone I'm not.
So from now on I'm just going to be me.

simple ways to spruce up your mood

(Another List- Judge me)

+ Wake up early. Waking up early gives you time to relax and ponder on your day ahead. It helps you become lest stressed and just makes you feel totally refreshed.

+Develop a routine. When you have things all in order you can feel more relaxed and ultimately happier! I feel a lot more secure when I have a plan and a reason behind it,

+Smile. When you smile even if you don't feel like smiling, your mood improves. It can give you a more positive outlook.

+Forgive others and yourself. Holding on to grudges and past injustice will do nothing but make you grumpier. Forgive yourself also. No one is perfect including you. Like Maya Angelou said, " Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

+Exercise daily. Get that blood flowing and the endorphin's up. I always feel better after I have ran my guts out and am sweating and stinky. Something about knowing your body is capable of doing hard things really works wonders for the mind.

+Laugh Everyday. Laugh until your sides are sore and your cheeks hurt. A good belly laugh can fix a bad mood in no time. Spend time with people you are always in fro a good laugh and that you can laugh with. People who can laugh are always the best kind of people.

+Be proactive. Finish things before they are due, and don't procrastinate. Anxiety and poor attitudes start to creep up into you when you procrastinate. When you are not constantly thinking of what you have left to do, you can sit back, relax, and breathe a sigh of relief,

decisions make me nauseous

I've gone through a billion things that I want to be when I grow up. I thought I had narrowed it down to one but, I really think there is four viable options for my future.
P.s. lists are my favorite. 

1. Obviously, In the future (after I marry a return missionary in the temple) I would like to be a Mom. That is my top most priority. Of course, In this day and age people do need an education in case the perfect "Man works woman stays home with the children" scenario doesn't quite play out. So I have three other options for a career.

2. I think it would be really cool to be a Dental Hygienist. I am interested in working in a medical related field but not the typical doctor/nurse/EMT. I feel like it would be a good career for myself and the pay is not to shabby (Jokes! It has nothing to do with the money. Even though that is a great perk).

3. I am a really organized, stick-to-a-schedule, make a to-do list everyday, kind of person. I'm really good at cleaning and turning a cluttered mess into a very neat and organized space. I would love to start my own  organizing business. I already have came up with a name for it and a design. It would work really nice because I could schedule it around my time and I could do what I'm really good at.

4. I've always been a "doodler". I used to get in trouble in elementary school because I would draw little pictures and designs on all my homework assignments. I am in no way an artist. It just clears my head to doodle a little when I'm listening to someone speak or if I am stressed. I especially like to doodle designs/logos/business titles. That's why graphic designer is the caboose on this list. I think it would be so fun to have a job that let's you doodle and make fun things out of other peoples ideas.

I really have no idea what to do. With college approaching I kinda sorta need to pick a career. I've been telling everyone that I'm going to be a Dental Hygienist. It seems like the most likely fit for my personality and future life. But, because I have "decided" i am almost doubting my choice.

What do i want to be? When do i have to decide?
Maybe I just won't decide and see how my life plays out? ( Ha! jokes!)

I will not

I will NOT be:

• a parent who screams at their children.
• a parent who screams at their children in front of their children's friends. 
• someone who is quick to anger
• impatient
• absent
• a wife/ mother who is not easy to talk to
• angry all the time
• unorganized
• a procrastinator
• a jerk to other people
• someone who makes fun of children
• a "bringer down"
• someone who is not open minded
• someone who can not listen
• a micro manager
• constantly agitated
• someone who is never happy in their own home with their kids
• out-of-control

Mariah's Declassisifed High-School Survival Guide ( get it?)

Mantras To Help You Survive High School.
High school is completely insane! Who in there right mind decided to put almost 1000 fifteen- eighteen year-olds into one school.(and that's just at OHS, other schools have way more) Hormones are seriously flying. No one gets any sleep... ever. Teachers are jerks and who even has time for homework?! ( The answer is no one.) Teachers are always saying " As teachers we know how you feel. you have SEVEN other classes that are feeding you homework so tonight's homework will only consist of: one essay on the chapter you read, a study-guide, a vocab sheet, and to read for your 1000 pages. I hope that you appreciate my effort on trying to lighten the (homework) load."
What The @$#% ! That is not even lighting anyone's load! What are these people even thinking?! Anyway now I'm off topic. I'd like to share my tips on how I am trying to survive the zoo they consider High School.

1. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. Just don't. Life is worse if you procrastinate,Late points are deducted you dread the assignment more... it's just bad.
2. Get ORGANIZED. I find it a lot harder to think straight when my back pack is overflowing with junk and I can't even find what I'm looking for. Even though being and staying organized can be tedious, I feel that it helps me stay more calm
3. BUILD RELATIONSHIPS. Also known as- Kissing Butt. I'm not as bad of a kiss butt, although, I do try to make a good relationship with my teachers so that when I do have a problem, they are more willing to work with me. 
4. BE RESPECTFUL. No one is more annoying than a very entitled kid. You are not funny or Bad-A. You're stupid and we all hate your guts. You just end up making the teacher mad and that's just stupid. It really isn't hard to sit quite for an hour. Zone out, or even better actually do the work!
5. STUDY. As much as I hate to say it... studying works. Even if you just spend half an hour going over the material you will do so much better on the tests. Trust me. It is worth it
6. DO EVERY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. Homework is usually the category that effects your grade the least, BUT if you do EVERY assignment it can give you a small buffer which can help raise your grade from that B- to an B or even A-. 
7. BE WELL ROUNDED. Don't forget that high school is about socializing and building relationships just as much as it is about learning. Take a break from studying/ homework to hangout with friends. Form study groups. Go to the activities. Go to the sports games and show your school spirit! High School only happens once so don't let it go to waste.
8. SLEEP IN. It is okay to sluff every once in a while. Sleep in a little, skip first. Sluff the assemblies. It is invigorating and is major stress relief
9. BUILD FRIENDSHIPS. Even though you  may not see half of these people ever again after graduation. Make friends. The friends situation is always tough in high school. People change and have bad days. You need other friends that you can rotate to when things are rough with your other friends. Having a wide variety of friends makes life so much more fun anyway!
10. ENJOY IT. As much as it may stink a lot of the time, high school is usually where people have their fondest memories. Don't spend your entire high school existence yearning for the future. The future comes entirely too quickly and then all you have left is regret.

High School really is great. As much as the teachers may absolutely suck half of the time. I wouldn't trade my high school experience for the world. I have become extremely nostalgic lately as my junior year is coming toward and end. I keep hoping that at some point time will slow down. Of course it won't and  senior year is right around the corner, begging for me to open the door and let it in. High School: The best/worst 4 years of your life.

to infinity (rambles) and beyond!

If you were ever wondering what goes on in my brain, you're in luck! Today and today only (April Fools!) You will be able to see what is bouncing around in my noggin'.

* sine-squared-of-theta-plus-cosine-squared-theta-equals-one......sine-tangent-theta.....math.... test... tomorrow?!! I'm really proud of myself. I've done every math assignment when it was assigned before the day before (haha tongue twister) the math test. I'm trying to memorize a butt-load of equations so I don't strand myself in sudden-math-stroke during the math test.  Math tests always freak me out. They are 80% of our grade and I really need to make it through math this year... Only 1 term left!

*I learned a really great ab workout from my fitness coach today. It's not too hard and you can definitely feel it. I'm in desperate need of a partner to go to the gym with (Planet Fitness) since the workout requires someone to toss the medicine ball to you. Plus, I'm way to freaked out at the thought off having to ask some random citizen at the gym to help me. NO to that.

*I really wish I had one of those cool blogs with 80 bazillion followers. Like c'mon... I'm hilarious! I try to make my blog a mix of funny, spiritual insights, random thoughts, and intense posts. Maybe the only person who is interested in what i think/have to say... is me?

*I really don't understand why people can't give people (me) the time and space I need to adjust. Last year was emotionally damaging for me. I went through a lot and I am in no way, shape, or form ready to relive those memories. I'm trying to go on with my life and put what happened behind me. I do not need you reminding me of those times because it just gives me anxiety. I'm trying to forget and move on. I can give you a thousand reasons why. It is easier for me to just forget it than it is to try to pretend the last year. Things are different. Everything is different. Don't pretend like it's not.

*When it's raining I like to lay in my bed, pretend I have no responsibilities and sleep, and just waste the day away.

*I need more lazy days. I am too busy for it to be healthy.

* I can not spell to save my life. If I was kidnapped and the only way to be released without harm, were to spell, I would be dead.

* I have become sort of a rebel lately. Well not really. I'm too cautious to do anything that is actually "bad" but I've done some slightly out of character things lately. Get on my level

 Okay. I'm done now. There is just something about typing your thoughts out that is therapeutic. Kinda like driving with the music off.  It also helps me to relax and make rational decisions. Yay for blogs!