Really. What is it?

What is it to really live?
To really enjoy the life you have be blessed with?
How do you show your appreciation?

Shut out.

Being shut out is confusing. I know it's a defense mechanism, but it hurts. I'd rather have someone tell me exactly what's going on and hurt me, rather than be shut out. I'm being shut out from every direction.
Please, just let me in.

Vent sesh

I always feel like I write the best, most thought provoking posts, when I'm full of feelings and emotion. I can't ever find the words to say when I'm not either upset or angry. Why? Why is it the surge of emotion that makes people different? I know everyone has experienced it.
The surge of words that come spurting out when you can't take it anymore. The frusterated, garbled stream of words that is shot into the person who said that one thing, the last little box added to the load bearing down on you.
You never really know what the little things you say can do to someone.
People are complicated. It's as simple (I'm so funny ) as that. Especially in our times today, everyone is comparing themselves to others. Tearing others down to buold themselves up. The fast paced, savage-like lifestyle of today's world.
Be careful what you say. Words do hurt, and You never know how heavy the load someone is carrying and what simple thing you say to someone, can break them. Something that "I was just kidding." And "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it." Will never be able to fix.
I know I have been guilty of saying these phrases before, and that I, especially lately, have been trying to stop. That dumb little snarky remarks don't need to be said. It's so much easier to be kind and it makes you so much happier.
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle."

The Event of the Night

My car ran out of gas. 2 ( yes 2!!!!) streets away from my house. Do I just have bad luck? Did I do something to someone and this is karma getting back at me? I was just trying to drive my sisters friend home who literally lives 2 streets away. All of the sudden I couldn't push the gas. I started to pull over but then the car started to work again, so I shrugged it off. It happened again as I went to turn down my sister's friend's street. But my car wouldn't turn. I started freaking out and panicking and I slammed on the breaks. Then the car totally shut off and there I was in the middle of the road. Of course being me I started to have a panic attack and I was like freaking out and yelling at my sister to call my mom. (My poor neighbor is probably traumatized and terrified of me now.. oops) Long story short, some neighbors saw and helped push my car off of the road and my dad brought gas to fill up my car so I could make it to a gas station. But this was seriously the most stressful event of today and pretty much my whole life. 

A very special shoutout ♥

Happy birthday (tomorrow, the 4th) to my very best friend in the whole wide universe! I don't know what I'd do without her! We are so random and awkward and hilarious when we are together:) we have been friends since 6th grade and we practically speak in constant inside jokes! We were also almost killed and locked in a bathroom together, idk how you get any closer than that:) sometimes when I bump my elbow and almost spill my milk, she comes to see if I'm okay and it scares me so bad I pee my pants! (Okay.... that only happened once) This girl is single and now ready to mingle! Happy Birthday my #bffforlyfe!